28-05-2007 / Venom

Venom

Welcome

It's been a long time

You thought you could escape

But finally, here we are

You ran and ran

But you could only hide

The only thing achieved

Was exhausting yourself

It didn't matter because, in the end

I was going to be here anyway

No doubt you tried to forget about me

Or at least, that's what you tried

But we don't forget

Not permanently, just for a while

Even so, allow me to remind you who I am

I am the voice inside your head

The one who says you can't do it

I am that fear of unknown origin

And despite that, it stops you

I am that doubt that makes you hesitate

And when you blink, you exasperate

I am that limit you won't dare to cross

Terra incognita full of possibilities, unattainable

I am that insecurity that overwhelms you

Ruining everything good you receive and magnifying everything bad that you deserve

I am that solitude in which you drown

The one that slowly melts your interior and eats away your glint

I am that pair of cold hands

Choking you during the day, smothering you at night

I am that uncomfortable silence 

Piercing your temple, blowing away your ears

I am corruption

Twisting your mind, skewing your perspective

I am anxiety

Holding you back, physically and mentally

I am fury

Clouding your judgment, destroying your environment

I am pain

Sharp and chronic, always with you in body and mind

I am a catalyst

For your cowardice, your illogical reaction, of those words you shouldn't have uttered

I am envy

That fury you feel when others achieve what you haven't

I am and always will be

That blackness that contaminates everything you touch

That festers and breaks

That burns and freezes

Even though you fake I am not here

It's always cute to see you try

Trying to remove me

Trying to overcome me

Trying to avoid me

Trying

...at all...

I live in every dark alley inside your mind

Behind that door where all of them lead to

That door you won't confront

That door you won't approach

That door you placed the first time you felt fear

And said "No"

And ever since then, I've been here

Every time you ran away, every time you ruined it, every time you rejected

For I am a virus

I've perennially replicated myself inside your mind

You can change your way of thinking

You can take your pills to make yourself feel better

Me?

I have been here

I am still here

I will be here

Because in order to face me, you'd have to be brave

To kill me, you'd have to be willing to lose everything

But we both now you're not, in both counts

Right?

If you were, I wouldn't be here

Obviously

That's why you make me stronger everyday

Every second of every minute of every hour you make me larger

Do you remember me now?

I know you do

But if you want, let's close our eyes for a moment

Let's pretend together that everything is like you want it to be

Let's pretend I am not here

Let's pretend I don't exist

Let's pretend this is a bad dream

Let's pretend you're not about to crash and burn

Come on, let us pretend

Isn't that how you live every day?

Run again

Flee far away

Hide well

Pretend intensely

Pretend you can deceive the venom inside you

Isn't that how you live every day?

You're invited to my Flickr gallery.